I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
