girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
