I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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