he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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