I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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