I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
