Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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