I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
