So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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