so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
