so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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