all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
