can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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