Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
