Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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