doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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