well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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