isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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