today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
