i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
