shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
