Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
