My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
not ubering you a puppy
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