oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
