I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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