rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
