jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
