I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
