no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
