is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
