You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
