If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
