the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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