It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
