just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
