did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
