I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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