just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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