Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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