she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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