dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
