I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
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hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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