I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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