You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize