and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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