Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
