if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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