Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
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Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
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I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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