Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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