I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You ruined the universe
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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