ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
