I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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