And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
