apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
