I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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