Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
