: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
